I read this blog entry by Pastor Steven Furtick tonight. I was convicted of uncertainties that I thought had long disappeared. I'm still working on seeking God's will for me. Time after time He has proved His timing is perfect but I still have moments of anxiousness, about whether the desires of my heart will truly be granted. And then I remember that it's not my version of perfection that will be fulfilled, it's His. And His is better.
http://www.stevenfurtick.com/spiritual-growth/perfect-for-you/
Wednesday 22 February 2012
Sunday 5 February 2012
Weekend Art
I walked into our local arts and crafts store and was overcome with a sudden urge to be artsy. I picked up a couple canvasses and painted for the first time since...grade school?
I've got 4 others on the go, but here's my first finished project. I've wanted words on my wall for the longest time, so it was the perfect combo.
I've got 4 others on the go, but here's my first finished project. I've wanted words on my wall for the longest time, so it was the perfect combo.
Wednesday 18 January 2012
Rediscovery - Genesis 1-3
When I was in high school, my dad often tried to make the whole family sit together to read from the Bible each night. Though at the time I would've claimed to be deeply devoted to my faith, sitting around with my younger siblings and parents for a nightly Bible study was teenage torture. Many a night I passed out on the couch before the chosen passage had even finished being read.
Yesterday my parents and I sat around the table reading and discussing the first few chapters in the book of Genesis. How this whole event came about, I honestly couldn't tell you. But I can tell you that I'm so glad it did.
I know that in my last post I said I was going to study Proverbs 31. Though I still remain drawn to that passage of scripture, I realized that one of, if not the main reasons I wanted to study and become that woman was so that I could get closer to becoming that godly woman that a godly man would want to be with. I still want this and will strive to become that woman, but I now see my original motives for study as selfish. God's word isn't a step-by-step guide to getting what I want. It's not about me whatsoever, and for me to think so is arrogant. It's about Him.
And so as my dad read through the first few chapters of Genesis while mom and I listened, I came to discover wonderful truths about our Creator that I would have missed had I continued to use the Bible as merely a means to my end. I'd like to share...
Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness..." So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26, 27 NIV)
God formed us. But He didn't do it alone. I had never noticed before, but He says "Let US make..." We were a collaborative effort between God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We were made in THEIR likeness. Not only do we physically resemble the God who formed the oceans and the earth, but my spirit is in the likeness of the Holy Spirit as well, which is why we are innately yearning for a closeness to God.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. (Genesis 1:31 NIV)
God values me. He made me and saw what He created was very good. What more affirmation could I ever need than to know that I was created by the hands of the Father and that as His creation He is proud of me?
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." (Genesis 2:20-23 NIV)
God created us to be in relationship with one another. God knew Adam and created a woman that so perfectly met the desire and needs God created Adam with. Adam knew instantly when seeing her that she was inseparably a part of him. I know that this same God is working to make me into a woman who fits the deepest desires of the heart of a godly man, just as he prepares him for me.
I am left with such drive to continue to learn, and already I am feeling the powers of idleness and temptation trying to steer me away. I am hoping that blogging my reflections keep me on the narrow path. Anyone who reads and can support me with prayer as I continue on my rediscovery of scripture will have my eternal gratefulness.
Yesterday my parents and I sat around the table reading and discussing the first few chapters in the book of Genesis. How this whole event came about, I honestly couldn't tell you. But I can tell you that I'm so glad it did.
I know that in my last post I said I was going to study Proverbs 31. Though I still remain drawn to that passage of scripture, I realized that one of, if not the main reasons I wanted to study and become that woman was so that I could get closer to becoming that godly woman that a godly man would want to be with. I still want this and will strive to become that woman, but I now see my original motives for study as selfish. God's word isn't a step-by-step guide to getting what I want. It's not about me whatsoever, and for me to think so is arrogant. It's about Him.
And so as my dad read through the first few chapters of Genesis while mom and I listened, I came to discover wonderful truths about our Creator that I would have missed had I continued to use the Bible as merely a means to my end. I'd like to share...
Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness..." So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26, 27 NIV)
God formed us. But He didn't do it alone. I had never noticed before, but He says "Let US make..." We were a collaborative effort between God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We were made in THEIR likeness. Not only do we physically resemble the God who formed the oceans and the earth, but my spirit is in the likeness of the Holy Spirit as well, which is why we are innately yearning for a closeness to God.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. (Genesis 1:31 NIV)
God values me. He made me and saw what He created was very good. What more affirmation could I ever need than to know that I was created by the hands of the Father and that as His creation He is proud of me?
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." (Genesis 2:20-23 NIV)
God created us to be in relationship with one another. God knew Adam and created a woman that so perfectly met the desire and needs God created Adam with. Adam knew instantly when seeing her that she was inseparably a part of him. I know that this same God is working to make me into a woman who fits the deepest desires of the heart of a godly man, just as he prepares him for me.
I am left with such drive to continue to learn, and already I am feeling the powers of idleness and temptation trying to steer me away. I am hoping that blogging my reflections keep me on the narrow path. Anyone who reads and can support me with prayer as I continue on my rediscovery of scripture will have my eternal gratefulness.
Thursday 22 December 2011
Boldly getting started
I've been thinking for some time that I want to do a study of Proverbs 31. Rephrase. I need to do a study of Proverbs 31. I want with all my heart to be considered to be like the woman described in those verses.
I thought of starting it in the new year. A project to start off a new season of my life. But if I feel called to do this, why am I waiting until January? This is the bold obedience that I am learning about and trying to apply. Delayed obedience is immediate disobedience in God's eyes - one of the girls in our small church group quoted that today. It stuck.
So here we go - a study of the Proverbs 31 woman. What am I hoping to get from this? A deeper understanding of what God expects of me. A knowledge of how to be a God honoring wife and mom one day. Ways to apply it to my life now.
Here's my study text in it's entirety, let's get started...
The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I thought of starting it in the new year. A project to start off a new season of my life. But if I feel called to do this, why am I waiting until January? This is the bold obedience that I am learning about and trying to apply. Delayed obedience is immediate disobedience in God's eyes - one of the girls in our small church group quoted that today. It stuck.
So here we go - a study of the Proverbs 31 woman. What am I hoping to get from this? A deeper understanding of what God expects of me. A knowledge of how to be a God honoring wife and mom one day. Ways to apply it to my life now.
Here's my study text in it's entirety, let's get started...
The Wife of Noble Character
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Wednesday 30 November 2011
Hypothetically Speaking
Ever stage conversations in your head? Plan the whole dialogue in your mind, knowing what you'll say (which always seems to come so eloquently) and miraculously knowing how the other person will respond (apologetic and clearly seeing what you say is nothing short of the truth). I've become an expert at these lately. Call me crazy, but I've been having these potential talks in my brain every day for the past few weeks. There are so many questions I have, but more than that, so many things I would say if I had the chance.
But why wait for that chance? Do I really want to go back there to make that conversation a reality? When this new season in my life started, I was relieved. Ready to start fresh. Looking forward to what came next. But that initial enthusiasm has worn off, and I feel myself slowly backing up.
Over the past few weeks at Elevation, Pastor Steve has been teaching about Hebrews 12. I've lost count of how many times I've watched the first video podcast of the series. I'm trying to surround myself with the things of God, with books, scripture, music, sermons, prayers. I'm trying to lean solely on Him, to flood my thoughts with what He has to say, hoping it will drown out the other conversations that are trying to take over.
The first sermon focuses on the first three verses of the chapter:
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Pastor Steve touches on an idea based on the second half of verse one that really spoke to my heart. The writer of Hebrews says let us throw off everything that hinders AND the sin that so easily entangles. There are two different things here that I am being told to let go of. Pastor Steve clarifies by saying"...there are some things that hinder me that are not even sins, but I still have to get rid of them". There were aspects of my past that were sinful and I struggled with letting them go, but now it seems like I'm not holding on to a sin, but rather that first statement; things that hinder. My memories, my questions, my hypothetical conversations - they are hindering me from fixing my eyes on God. I've having those conversations rather than having conversations with the only One who can truly calm and reassure my heart.
I got rid of physical representations of hindrance today. Old photos, keepsakes. And this time they are not tucked away in a box on the highest shelf of the closet. They are totally gone. I'm hoping that by doing this, the emotional and mental hindrances aren't too far behind. God took me out of the relationship that hindered. Now I'm trying to do my part.
God isn't trying to hurt us by taking things away, He tries to untangle us to give us something better.
Untangling sucks. But my heart would much rather be in conversation with the One who loves unconditionally and has a plan for something better, than pretend to talk to someone who can't give any satisfying explanations.
But why wait for that chance? Do I really want to go back there to make that conversation a reality? When this new season in my life started, I was relieved. Ready to start fresh. Looking forward to what came next. But that initial enthusiasm has worn off, and I feel myself slowly backing up.
Over the past few weeks at Elevation, Pastor Steve has been teaching about Hebrews 12. I've lost count of how many times I've watched the first video podcast of the series. I'm trying to surround myself with the things of God, with books, scripture, music, sermons, prayers. I'm trying to lean solely on Him, to flood my thoughts with what He has to say, hoping it will drown out the other conversations that are trying to take over.
The first sermon focuses on the first three verses of the chapter:
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Pastor Steve touches on an idea based on the second half of verse one that really spoke to my heart. The writer of Hebrews says let us throw off everything that hinders AND the sin that so easily entangles. There are two different things here that I am being told to let go of. Pastor Steve clarifies by saying"...there are some things that hinder me that are not even sins, but I still have to get rid of them". There were aspects of my past that were sinful and I struggled with letting them go, but now it seems like I'm not holding on to a sin, but rather that first statement; things that hinder. My memories, my questions, my hypothetical conversations - they are hindering me from fixing my eyes on God. I've having those conversations rather than having conversations with the only One who can truly calm and reassure my heart.
I got rid of physical representations of hindrance today. Old photos, keepsakes. And this time they are not tucked away in a box on the highest shelf of the closet. They are totally gone. I'm hoping that by doing this, the emotional and mental hindrances aren't too far behind. God took me out of the relationship that hindered. Now I'm trying to do my part.
God isn't trying to hurt us by taking things away, He tries to untangle us to give us something better.
Untangling sucks. But my heart would much rather be in conversation with the One who loves unconditionally and has a plan for something better, than pretend to talk to someone who can't give any satisfying explanations.
Tuesday 22 November 2011
Elevation
When my sister and I travelled to North Carolina last Easter, we were blessed with the opportunity to attend a serivce at Elevation Church. I have since been downloading the sermons of the Pastor Steve Furtick and listening whenever I get the chance. It never ceases to be amaze me how good God is. He has led me to a church that speaks to my heart and is helping heal my spirit. Despite being unable to physcially attend a service on a Sunday morning, I am able to worship alongside their incredible music leaders and be spiritually challeged as I listen to sermons on iTunes each week. This church has truly been a blessing to me and I will be forever grateful to my God for the healing He has provided for me through this place.
Something I need to be more diligent of is spending time reflecting and praying about the truths with which God has presented me. I am hoping that by putting my reflections out into the blogosphere I am kept accountable to this. Even if no one is reading, I know Someone will be looking forward to each new post.
Something I need to be more diligent of is spending time reflecting and praying about the truths with which God has presented me. I am hoping that by putting my reflections out into the blogosphere I am kept accountable to this. Even if no one is reading, I know Someone will be looking forward to each new post.
Monday 14 November 2011
Another Song for Today?
This one a little more hopeful. In a perfect world, this would have been the open arms response I would have received instead of the slammed door reaction I did get.
Maybe one day.
Maybe one day.
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